Week 16 - ending 4/22: Back in the Water

On Friday I got back in the water for the first time in 6 months. I went out for dawn patrol before work, since that is when it is less crowded and my usual time to go.

I was nervous but also excited. I wasn't sure how I would do seeing as I was not in paddling shape. I was so excited I left my house a little too early and was the second person in the parking lot when it was still dark.

I sat and watched the ocean while I waited for light to come to the sky. Once a little light was on the horizon, I got my board and got ready. I sat on the beach for several minutes just watching the waves, and mapping out where I was going. Everything was going well, except for almost tripping over my leash as I walked to the water. Good thing about dawn patrol, not many people to see it happen. Bad thing about dawn patrol, not many people so sometimes all eyes are on you.

I got in the water and began paddling. I was surprised that I was able to paddle out without stopping, however, once I got out I needed to rest. I sat on my board and the same feelings of calm, happiness and joy came over me. Being in the water is truly an amazing experience.

I caught several waves and paddled for even more that I didn't catch. I paddled in feeling centered and on the right path.

I went out again on Sunday morning and Monday morning. During my Monday session I had an epiphany. I often find surfing shows me things about my life in a different way and I learn a lot about myself.

The scariest part of surfing for me is catching the wave. Once I am up I am good. I can turn, walk to the nose and maneuver around crowds. Seeing the wave approaching and paddling for it is the scariest part. It is the initial act. The first step, that gets me. Instead, I will stay on the inside and catch the smaller waves that don't create such fear in me. Then I realized, the same is true in my life.

I stay in the safe areas for fear of the excitement of larger waves and larger experiences. I will settle for less, settle for situationships, instead of speaking my mind and trying for something more. I will sit back and not try certain things for fear of beginning.

In surfing, when I do try for the larger waves and paddle out further, I am usually rewarded. Fun, exciting waves sprinkled with a little fear. Feelings of exhilaration and comfort alive in my body. Perhaps I would feel the same if I did certain things in my life? The answer to that question will have to come at a later time.

In the meantime I will be in the water. Paddling further and further out, slowly getting comfortable in bigger conditions. More water, more fear, more power can lead to more growth, more joy, more lessons.