Week 12 - ending 3/25: Perspective

I used to believe that if you transitioned from one relationship to another, with little or no time alone, you never dealt with the breakup. I also believed that later in life, all of those feelings and emotions that you covered with another distraction, aka person, would come flooding back. However, now I may be adjusting my stance a little on this.

I knew a guy who was in an unhappy marriage. I don't think he ever cheated, physically, but emotionally and mentally he was definitely elsewhere. He stayed in the marriage for their children, but one day couldn't take anymore and left. The timing is suspect but a few months later he was dating, er sleeping with, a girl 20 years his junior. Fast forward a year and a half and the young thing is still around for fun via sex, sporting events and traveling. I am patiently waiting to watch the ashes of this relationship. He claims she knows nothing can come of it, but I was in my 20's once. Young hope makes people dumb. Anyway, I digress and get bitter.

Recently I was reflecting on this again and thinking about a situation in my life where I went from one relationship to another. For me there was about 3 months between, which is very short considering I tend to stay single for years after anything ends.

What I noticed from this quick transition was how my new relationship actually helped me understand the previous person better. It wasn't a mirror, or the same person different body, but somehow the life experiences of the new person helped me understand what my ex went through and was going through. While two very different people, the similar life experiences that the new person shared made me have more empathy for my ex, more compassion and more love. Don't get me wrong, I didn't want to go back to them, try to be friends or even reach out, but energetically it cleared me from that burden. It provided clarity and helped me move on.

So maybe there is benefit from jumping from one person to the next, however, I can tell you with certainty it is not for me. I must spend time in the emotions to learn, process and reacquaint.